When your Highly Sensitive Child Picks Up Challenging Behaviors from Other Kids

Many of the highly sensitive children I work with are exceptionally vulnerable to the influence of other people.  It is almost as though they are porous, to the point that they may even seem to morph into whomever they spend time with.  Science has shown that highly sensitive people have more mirror neuron activity in their brain, and this is a primary reason why our highly sensitive children mirror the behavior and mannerisms of others around them.  In my observations as a medical intuitive, there are additional processes at work which are taking place in an HSP’s energetic anatomy, as well as in their psychology and emotions.  Our highly sensitive children easily absorb the energy around them and run it through their systems, soaking up like a sponge the emotions and mannerisms of those nearby. If another child’s behavior makes them uncomfortable or anxious, they may also pull that child’s energy into their body in an effort to control it or heal the other child. Therefore, when a highly sensitive child is struggling socially or behaviorally, it is important to support that child on multiple levels.  On the physical level, we want to support them in calming their body and mind, so that they have tools to manage the high level of input they’re receiving and mirroring.  In addition, we want to provide the highly sensitive child with tools to protect their energy, so that they are less vulnerable to absorbing the emotions and intrusions of others.  And for their mental health, we also need to teach the highly sensitive child to observe and regulate their emotions, as well as advocate for their needs. 

 I have heard so many stories of highly sensitive children engaging in problematic behaviors or language that doesn’t really seem like it’s truly coming from them.  This is especially true in very young HSP’s, but it can happen with HSP’s of any age, including adults.  Some examples include:

*The highly sensitive preschooler who comes home making statements or gestures you never observed in them before, which are uncomfortable for you as the parent to experience. 

*The highly sensitive child who comes home from a playdate acting like a “wild animal” after spending time with a friend who is generally more hyperactive and less well-mannered than they are.

*The highly sensitive teen who find themselves following along with their friends’ negative behavior without really tuning in to what is best for them.  This could range from talking badly about a peer your teen really likes, to more high risk behaviors such as engaging in unsafe activities.

 This isn’t just a matter of copying other children or trying to fit in.  Often these are involuntary processes, which the highly sensitive child may not be entirely aware of.  Some ways you may support your highly sensitive child in these situations include:

               *Reflecting the change in their behavior and inquiring of them whether someone they recently interacted with was behaving in a similar manner.  For example: “I notice you are really hyper and having trouble listening since you got home from your playdate.  Was your friend really hyper and having trouble listening to his mom?  What was that like for you?”

               *Encouraging your child to notice what they naturally/typically feel like vs. how their friends may be.  For example:  “You are usually very thoughtful and careful, and your friend gets angry a lot.  I wonder if you picked up some of your friend’s angry feelings and how we might get you back to feeling like yourself?”

               *Supporting your child in owning the times when they lose themselves, and in getting back on track.  For example:  “I know it’s hard to hold onto what’s true for you when your friends are talking badly about that person.  How might you handle it differently next time?”

 In addition, it is important overall to support your highly sensitive child in practices which will help them feel more grounded and empowered to be who they truly are. This involves trying a variety of tools to find those that may work best for them. In my work with clients, I often inquire about their natural interests, since engaging in activities that bring them joy is a powerful way to help them ground in their sensitive bodies and feel a sense of purpose and balance. I also teach them energy healing techniques to ground and protect their energy from others. I focus on teaching communication and social skills as well, so that they may express what’s true for them and build healthy relationships. If this holistic approach sounds like it would be helpful for you and your highly sensitive child, feel free to email me or book a free discovery call. You may also want to check out the resources on Julie Bjelland’s website by clicking below, as there are many tools for you to better understand what it means to be an HSP and learn skills to cope.

Carolina is an active and proud member of the Sensitive Empowerment Community!  Learn more about this wonderful group through Julie Bjelland’s website at https://www.fatfreecartpro.com/ecom/gb.php?cl=342244&c=ib&aff=383793. There are numerous free and paid resources designed to support Highly Sensitive People on this site!