Sensitive Kid Behavior Series: Why does my child smash into things all the time?

*Your child doesn’t just hug, but rather nearly runs you over with the force of their embrace

*Your child purposely runs and crashes into furniture, walls and other people

*Your child loves to wrestle but sometimes takes it too far and someone ends up getting hurt

Have you been there?

 Many of the highly sensitive children I have worked with over the years have displayed this behavior, and many of their parents, as well as the kids themselves, have suffered bruises and injuries as a result.  No matter how many times parents say to stop or try to set boundaries around this behavior, their kids continue to crash into them.  Ouch!

 Understanding this behavior involves looking at your child’s reactions to various sensory and emotional input.  At a basic level, crashing into things is an attempt by your child to regulate their body and emotions.  It may seem counterintuitive, but many highly sensitive children have the tendency to seek certain types of sensory stimulation for the purpose of regulating themselves—basically they are trying to balance one type of input with another.  For example, a highly sensitive child who feels overstimulated by noise or bright lights, may suddenly begin purposefully banging into things in order to calm that overstimulation.  Or a child who is very emotionally reactive, may smash into things in response to a big emotion.

 Smashing into objects, people, furniture and walls gives a child proprioceptive input.  The proprioceptive system tells the brain where the body is in relation to other objects and how to move, and its nerve receptors are found in the joints and ligaments.  Younger children will often seek proprioceptive input through physical contact with caregivers, which is why kids may smash into you directly.  It is often important to address this behavior for safety reasons, while concurrently ensuring that they receive the proprioceptive input they need to regulate.   Here are a few steps you may follow:

 First, see if you can identify triggers for the smashing and crashing.  This will give you some clues about what type of sensory input may be overwhelming your child.  Some triggers may include bright lights, loud noises, certain foods/tastes or smells.  If your child tends to be highly empathic or sensitive to the emotions of others, look for less obvious triggers such as an upsetting scene on tv or an interaction with a peer or family member who was emotional.  If your child tends to be sensitive to energy or psychic phenomena, these may be the hardest to spot—as a trained intuitive I am able to assess these.  Once you identify triggers, you can at least anticipate when additional proprioceptive input may be necessary and talk with your child about it, so that you both feel more prepared to address the triggers.

 Second, find ways to provide your child with proprioceptive input that are safe.  Deep pressure massage is one that parents can often assist with on the spot, or a child may be taught to squeeze their hands together, rub their legs with their hands vigorously, or tense/relax their muscles. Bouncing/jumping is often a good substitute for smashing into things, as is rolling around on the floor or bed, pressing their back against a wall or chair, or swinging in a sensory swing such as a cuddle swing.  Weighted blankets, spandex “body socks” or weighted or compression clothing may be useful tools as well.  Experiment with different types of proprioceptive input to see what works best.

 Third, ensure that you build extra proprioceptive input into your child’s day, throughout the day.  This is like engaging in preventive medicine:  the idea is to give them the physical stimulation proactively to maintain a more regulated baseline.  Starting the day with bouncing on the Jumparoo, or letting them run and jump onto the bed are examples of activities you may suggest first thing in the morning to ensure a more regulated child heading into the day.  If you have limited space, even a push-up contest against a door or wall will provide your child with some of the proprioceptive input they need.  Then you may build other proprioceptive activities into your child’s daily routine, for example, once an hour perhaps you have hugging time or backrub time.  If your child is away from you at school, teachers may be open to reminding your child to take sensory breaks to engage in proprioceptive input, especially if they notice that it helps your child function effectively in class. 

 I want to clarify that the activities I suggest are typically beneficial if you already notice that your child seeks proprioceptive input.  None are an official “prescription” as I am not an occupational therapist.  These are suggested as possible alternatives to risky activities your little one may be engaging in, in response to their need for proprioceptive input.  Some highly sensitive children are hypersensitive to touch and will not find proprioceptive input to be regulating; rather it may have the opposite effect.  If your child has been crashing into things they are instead HYPOsensitive (e.g., not very sensitive) to physical touch, even if they are highly sensitive to other types of sensory input.  If you aren’t sure of the ways in which your child may be highly sensitive or what their triggers may be, I’m happy to help!  Book a free discovery call so that we can talk further.

 The Sensitive Kid Behavior Series answers parent questions about common behaviors observed in their little ones. If you have questions about your child’s behavior feel free to email me and I’ll answer them in future blogs!

 Carolina is an active and proud member of the Sensitive Empowerment Community!  Learn more about this wonderful group through Julie Bjelland’s website at https://www.fatfreecartpro.com/ecom/gb.php?cl=342244&c=ib&aff=383793. There are numerous free and paid resources designed to support Highly Sensitive People on this site!