Does Your Highly Sensitive Child Have Clear Boundaries?
Highly Sensitive Children are constantly picking up more information about their environment than those who aren’t highly sensitive. They deeply process small details that many people aren’t aware of, such as the various sights, sounds, and textures in a room, or the emotional states of other people. Because of this high sensitivity, it is especially important for highly sensitive children to have tools which support them in feeling strong and centered. Maintaining clear boundaries is a key area of practice to develop this feeling of strength and promote resilience in the face of stress.
There are many types of boundaries which support highly sensitive children. Two of the most common that people think about first are value-based boundaries and boundaries related to personal needs. Value-based boundaries typically relate to what rules are to be followed in your home, and what types of behavior are expected from your child in various situations. Boundaries related to personal needs empower your child to express what they may need in a given moment/situation. This entails some level of awareness related to what situations may trigger your child. For example, if your child knows that crowded places are overwhelming, your child can set a boundary on various activities they are invited to. Perhaps they go on the hike with 1-2 other friends but don’t go to their friend’s sporting event, or perhaps if they decide to go to a friend’s birthday party they plan to leave early or take breaks in the bathroom. For an additional example of a boundary related to personal needs: your child may practice identifying and expressing what they need when they are upset: is it to take some space alone, to get a hug, to engage an active coping strategy such as breathing or exercise? Helping them learn what works for them supports them in advocating for time and space to engage in these strategies.
Another type of boundary that is especially important for highly sensitive children, but is not one that many people think about right away, is an energetic boundary. Many highly sensitive children are very intuitive and may pick up on the subtle energy present in a room, or sense the mood someone is in without that person having to say a word. If this is occurring without a clear energetic boundary, the sensitive child may absorb the energy around them and act or feel as though it is theirs. For example, a highly empathic child might suddenly become angry or start crying, because they walked by someone at school who is struggling emotionally. If this becomes a regular pattern the child may appear chronically depressed or anxious, and not know why. For another example, the sensitive child may become highly distractible, unable to concentrate and very fidgety, because they are absorbing multiple energies around them in a busy room.
Parents may support their highly sensitive children in developing awareness of their energy boundaries by asking questions and encouraging them to take care of themselves. For example, using the two scenarios described above, a parent might say to their child:
1. I notice you suddenly got upset. Is that your emotion or do you think it might be someone else’s? Do you have any ideas on how you might let go of that person’s feeling?
2. Your teacher has said that you seem to have trouble paying attention in your math class when you work in groups with the other students. Is it hard to pay attention with the extra noise and activity? What do you think would help you focus?
There are numerous strategies to help highly sensitive children strengthen their energetic boundaries. Grounding is always the first one I introduce with clients, because a regular grounding practice naturally fosters improved self-awareness, and provides children with a practical way to release any energy that does not belong to them. I have a number of videos on this website which offer grounding strategies. If you haven’t yet checked any out, start with the “Grounding Meditation” or “Strategies for Managing Sensitivity”.
One other strategy which many sensitive kids find supportive of strong energetic boundaries is visualization of some sort of protection around their sensitive body. This might be a color-filled bubble, a waterfall that washes away energy that isn’t theirs, or a shield which protects a vulnerable area of their body. In Intuition Medicine®, it is taught that we have an energy boundary which is called an aura. This energetic anatomy system is linked to both our grounding and our chakras, and may change in size, color and shape depending on how we are feeling in a given day. If you would like to incorporate energy healing into the care of your sensitive child, I am here to support you! In Intuitive Guidance sessions, I read your and your child’s energy and share information on how you might strengthen energetic boundaries and grounding. With regular practice, HSP’s may find that feelings of empowerment and overall well being increase as the body feels the safety and protection of strong energetic boundaries.
Please let me know if these strategies are helpful! I am always eager to hear from you, whether you have further questions on this topic or are interested in learning more about Butterfly Grove services.
Carolina is an active and proud member of the Sensitive Empowerment Community! Learn more about this wonderful group through Julie Bjelland’s website at https://www.fatfreecartpro.com/ecom/gb.php?cl=342244&c=ib&aff=383793
